Looking Up

I like the park. I walk through it almost every day since I live nearby. If you ever run into me, I might be looking upward. I tend to get distracted by the trees and the birds, the shapes of the clouds, cats resting on windowsills or rooftops, or I simply observe the buildings. I’m probably one of the most easily distracted people you’ll ever meet.

In my town, most buildings in the centre are over 100 years old. I’ve noticed they all have repeated symbols on their façades and ledges. Mostly cups. Angels holding cups or flowers. Most likely a European influence.

I also enjoy watching kids on their bikes or teenagers hanging out. I didn’t like teenagers when I was one, but now that I’m older, I’m starting to find younger people very endearing. Could it be maternal instinct? They remind me of how small our world is when we’re young, and how catastrophic the smallest things can feel. There are so many social rules that don’t exist in adulthood… and we’re unfortunately slaves to our surroundings. Worst of all, we have no idea that life hasn’t even started yet.

Seeing them always brings me back to the same thought: I live my life as if I were already 80, looking back at my younger years. This idea might seem completely odd to some of you, or perhaps even depressing. But not at all. I think that’s exactly what makes me adventurous.

When I was little, I was too shy to even ask for a glass of water at someone else’s house.

Ten years ago, the thought of singing in front of someone made me nauseous, so I’ve come a long way. It’s not like it goes away overnight, but everything shifts when you realise that being shy won’t take you anywhere.

Life has made me surprisingly shameless and straightforward, while still very reserved and introverted. Which is extremely shocking to some, naturally. But the right people always stay.

Shouldn’t I allow myself to take risks while I’m still young and healthy? Is this embarrassing moment the end of the world, or just a very cool anecdote? If I risk it all and get it wrong, will it make a good bedtime story for my grandkids?

Ironically, thinking like a grandma makes me live in the moment. I invite you to picture it that way too.

If you’re among my frequent blog readers, you’ll realise that my entries are just a chain of thoughts that somehow relate to each other. That’s pretty much my thought pattern while I’m walking, so this is what normal conversation sounds like in my mind. Pretty chaotic.

Playing in the park became one of those little risks. I’m very comfortable playing there. It’s like I fall into a trance where all I get to see are the trees and the birds. I catch myself looking up again. I really enjoy it.

My initial goal was to make content for the internet. Social media doesn’t matter to me that much. It’s just a game for adults. Of course, I’m grateful whenever someone follows me, but I mean it when I say it doesn’t feed my ego.

But if you’re a musician, you’ll know that likes and views do matter to bars, producers, venue owners, and so on. That’s why many artists market themselves as if they were already famous.

Getting followers was too ambitious to be part of the plan. I thought no one would even turn around to look. But I was wrong. It turned out better than I expected. I became “the girl from the park,” which I think is hilarious. I really enjoy interacting with people, and I’m very grateful.

I believe in showing people the process and where I want to go. That’s why I’m writing this blog.

I’d really like to play in Buenos Aires someday. But to get there, I needed something that showed I had experience. So I decided to create my own stage. That’s how the street shows began. I never thought I’d actually have people’s support.

This is my way of proving that my songs are for everyone. I just think of it as one of my many grandma adventures. I encourage you to find one of your own.

You’re always welcome at my outdoor concerts. Come say hi afterwards!